Something

Ahojte,
jak možná víte, dneska znovu začala škola. A ve škole se nedělá nic jiného, než prokrastinuje. Takže píšu. Když se chystám že půjdu psát doma, většinou to dopadá úklidem. Když mám uklízet, učím se. Když se mám učit, nejlépe ve škole, tak píšu.

“You broke my heart, you broke the vase and you broke the condom”

“When you put it like this it sounds horrible”

“You ARE a horrible person!”

“No, I’m not…all I did was to snog that girl. Not my fault you changed the lock so I had to climb through the window.”

“If you wouldn’t cheat on me I wouldn’t have a reason to change the lock”

“Cheat on you? Come on, now you are being overdramatic, we were not even dating.”

“Gosh. I am NOT having a kid with such a jerk.”

“Too bad I don’t want to have kids with you either. I don’t even what to have kids at all.”

“Sorry to tell you, Casanova, but you should have check if your condom fits properly.”

“I was too busy making out with you.”

“Why did you even came here then. To get laid?”

“Well…”

“You are absolute jerk.”

“You still love me sunshine”

“No I don’t! You are idiotic moron with the tendency to fuck everything that moves. You egoistic bastard. I don’t love you, I despite you.”

“That’s not how it sounded last time. Also you forgot to mention adjectives such as hot, handsome, irresistible and so on.”

“You…you” she stuttered

“Why did you call me in a first place if you hate me so much. It’s not like you kicked me out and I have been crashing over Paul’s place for a month now. I bet you missed me. At least parts of me.”

“I am pregnant”

That shut him up for a while. Then he laughed “You are joking, right?” she unlocked her phone and showed him a pic of a pregnancy test. Positive one. “This looks awfully like your bathroom” he ruffled his hair, habit, that she loved and hated at the same time. Damn it why was he so hot?

“It is my bathroom.”

“Why is there a pregnancy test in your bathroom?”

“It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out.” She sighed. This might take a while.

“So…so…you’re pregnant?”

“I told you”

“With whom?” was that a hint of jealousy that echoed in his voice? No. It couldn’t be.

“What do you think?”

“Well I don’t know. I thought you only slept with me!”

“I bloody DID only sleep with you.”

It was clear that the whole idea was absolutely alien to him. He wasn’t father material. He wasn’t even a good boyfriend. Pretty sure he was unable to be monogamist. She couldn’t freak out. No now. She needed him to understand the fact, then she could go home, order in bunch of junk food and delay the inevitable freak-out with yet another Netflix marathon.

“So…you’re pregnant?”

“I am”

“With me?”

“Correct.”

“What do you want from me, woman?” he stood up, clearly getting defensive.

“I want to know what do you intend to do about it.”

“Abort it, what do you think? I am not gonna be a father!”

“Hell no.”

“Why?” he almost shrieked.

 “Guess Einstein. Abortion is illegal for about a year now.”

“Like illegal ever stopped you”

“I am NOT going to prison or paying horrendous sums just because you can’t be a man about it.”

“But I can’t be a father!” here we go again. She couldn’t figure out what specifically he dreaded about fatherhood, he wouldn’t let her, but he seemed certain about that matter.

“Fine” she stood up, tears stinging in her eyes. “Farrawell” she stormed out of the cafee. This was pointless.